Archive for September, 2021


Thursday, September 30th, 2021

Part of my job is rent related. I finally got how much tenants owe. Some tenants are 3 months behind and about to be four months behind …

You can guess what they are using their income for.

I like this job. I love it. I like the fact we require income from tenants but it is at a fixed 30%. That lets them save up, possibly move. We are also NOT HUD. We are privately funded. Not being HUD means the state cannot tell us who to rent to, we choose.

However, four months no rent. To me … even in a situation where we are being understanding is like … “Pay rent or we are evicting you” time.


Sunday, September 26th, 2021

Strider has been missing for almost 3 weeks now. My dreams last night were of him. I walking up and down my old neighborhood at dawn calling and singing the “Strider rider” song that I always sang to him. (Tigger has his own song too.) Strider came out from under a house. I picked him up and walked him back to my home.

(Funny. In my dream, I called it my home. But I do not live there. It will never be my home again.)

Strider was drooling on my shirt as i got him into the catios.

My typical month

Saturday, September 25th, 2021

I am just terrible at updating.

My weeks vary in craziness as I am kinda an onsite apartment manager and kinda a back up case manager. Beginning of the month is nuts because everyone has money for drugs — so I see an uptick in dealing, trespassers under the influence and overdoses. By the end of the month, flat out breaking and entering in order to procure items to sell for drugs — plus a lot of trespassers begging for food, ect.

My pet: Tigger is up to his normal weight. His coat is soft and lovely. He gets revolution (from a vet) every 45 days. He is playing. Rough housing and sleeping his normal amount of kitty hours. He asks to go outside to chase the local skunks, but he is NOT ever going outside. The freeway is way to close.

I am now on health benefits. It is wonderful. First time in almost 3 years.

I am still struggling more than I care to admit with being in public, parties or anything that involves me having to be in a group. Being in public is only hard because of COVID mandated regulations requiring a mask. I cannot get enough air which can trigger a mild to moderate panic attack. I still do not sleep very well or easily. I use melatonin gummies if I cannot sleep easy after 2 nights.

My work has mandated weekly COVID testing. Only hard because the testing is in a different town.

I really do not have any friends in town. The place where I was living on the couch accused me of stealing their storage key. I photographed my two keys: one to my mailbox and one to my house that I am still on the mortgage and sent it to them. I haven’t heard from her since that day.

I am reading my Bible and doing a morning devotional. I have to work on Saturdays, so my weekends are Sunday and Monday.

I dearly miss having a washer and dryer.

There is now enough income between Jack and I to pay all the bills.

I am writing up the 3rd part of the divorce: finance division. If I can get all that done and signed, I should have the divorce approved by Nov 8. The goal is to have the paperwork signed by the 15th and then submit it the courts.

All in all: I have a door, a bed, a good paying job and I am finishing the divorce.

I just struggle with what to blog. Always have.

Daily Routine

Thursday, September 16th, 2021

I am slowly starting to have a routine.

I have two days off at work now. That works SO much better than one. One was not enough to run errands and get everything else done.

I am still having a lot of nightmares.

My insurance has started. (I think)

Tigger is doing well. We finally found a toy he loves: a stick with a string. On the end of the string, I tied a hair tie.

I just forget to post. Probably do to the umm … PTSD of living under a NPD for so long…