Archive for October, 2021


Thursday, October 21st, 2021

I forgot to eat anything but a few pieces of real dark chocolate. I also drank two cups of my coffee. It was a very bad thing. I sat through four hours of meetings. (Not much decided.)

My area mandates weekly testing for COVID if you work with the public. So, we had an admin on site testing us and tenants that said they were exposed to the virus. Everyone is clear.

My blood sugar got so low that I couldn’t text or really see straight. I was shaking. I ran and grabbed sushi. I actually didn’t have any concept of grabbing candy. (A quicker bump up.)

My blood sugar went up but the whole incident caused me to pass out super early.

My non laundry Mondays

Monday, October 18th, 2021

Are my laziest day in two weeks. I make coffee. Eat. Shower. Goof off and relax. I should have done stuff today. I just did not want to.

It feels good to just do nothing.

I tend to start struggling with panic attacks towards the end of the day (approach of a work week). I am working on a few breathing exercises to try to calm myself down.

Monday … funday

Tuesday, October 12th, 2021

I managed to go out. Get an extension cord. Get my laundry done. (I got into the laundromat when it was empty, so i had my choice of washing machines.) I got my laundry done and was able to get food shopping done.

I rearranged my one bedroom apartment. Cleaned the floors. Then relaxed.

Good day off.

OHH. I joined a group that plays board games on Saturday nights. (GEEKS UNITE!!) It isn’t warhammer we are playing, it is another complex board game. Umm… I will try and get the name next week.

I enjoyed playing a tank. (You get to run up and hit everything.)

Still trucking along

Saturday, October 9th, 2021
  1. I got the preliminary financial agreement typed up and given to Jack. Now he just has to read it. We sign it before a notary. Finish and turn in court paperwork. I think …
  2. (This is a link to Dr. Romani and how we society views a NPD.) It was very eye opening for me.
  3. She keeps blowing my brains apart.
  4. All bills so far are paid. That is good.
  5. Jack keeps getting so much from his church. I keep feeling like unwrapping my soul from those lies is like staring into a well and trying to see the quarter at the bottom of murky water.

    Who am I?

    Today just ended up in tears.

    I keep dreaming about singing to Strider and him coming out. I also keep forgetting that I am allowed to mourn things now. I just struggle with loneliness, depression, insecurity and fear. Not too many things to overcome.