Archive for July, 2022

When the sky falls down

Wednesday, July 27th, 2022

I found out three things today.

  1. I got approved for the apartment.
  2. My work is covering my ticket to fly me out there.
  3. My work is covering a u-haul storage crate so I get to keep my things.

I literally almost bawled like a baby. Part of my deep depression and overwhelming anxiety the last 8 days was facing the reality that if I am flown, I will lose pretty much everything – again. And trying to figure out where to store my mother’s hope chest — full of the only things I couldn’t throw away. But I don’t have to think that way anymore.

Tonight, I can sleep. No more throwing up from panic attacks two times a day.

The only thing I have to do now is figure out the lease and ummm … then schedule an appointment for Tigger with the vet (as he’ll have to be seen by a vet 10 days before the flight (to update his rabies — his last show was a year and a month ago and to get him some kind of kitty benadryl for the flight.)

I applied to a third apartment complex.

Sunday, July 24th, 2022

Super scary.

I got the u-haul quote. It is over $5k.
My work said they would help “launch me.” It is a program that helps victims of domestic violence relocate. I just sent the quote to my boss. I guess they get funding for this.

…. I cannot get there with my stuff if they back out.
I’ll have to just fly a suitcase, myself and a carry on and Tigger. (still almost $2k for that ticket)

I’ll lose everything else including my mother’s hope chest. (that would devastate me the most).

Dear All,

Sunday, July 24th, 2022

So my boss said I could file for unemployment. I am going to do that ahead of time and make my last day will be no the 12th of August. However, he kept telling me to file unemployment as “relocation.” I kept telling him that if I did that, I would not qualify.

I finally looked up the CA code today and it said:


E. Relocation – Failure to Request Transfer

You quit your last job with (employer name) because you were moving. You did not request a transfer. After considering available information, the Department finds that you do not meet the legal requirements for payment of benefits.

I do not understand people. I am going to file that I was fired and a robot took my job on site. (An like trailer with a security system that is monitored off site by a security company.

————– SECONDLY ———

I am route planning. It looks like it is going to take me 6 days to travel across county. I am not doing more than 9 hours of driving a day (I have one near 10 hours, but I just have to make that. Please remember, I am like my mother in that I am not found of driving.) The plan so far is to stay along major freeways and to NOT tell motels about Tigger (just bring him into the place overnight). I am thinking of doing this:

  1. Eureka, CA. to Reno, NV (approximately 6 hours first day. But this is fine because I have to pack the vehicle the morning that I drive.)
  2. Reno, NV. to Salt Lake City: 8.5 hours driving.
  3. Salt Lake City to Denver: 8.21 hours (this is going to be a tough drive)
  4. Denver to Oklahoma City: 9.51 hours (I have to. This is the only real town …)
  5. Oklahoma City to Memphis, TN: 6.49 hours of driving
  6. Memphis, TN. to Alabama: 4.45 hours of driving

I’ll get up early to drive to Alabama as that will be inspection and signing my lease to move-in day.


oh dear God … help.

————– THIRDLY ———

My work is paying for my u-haul trailer one way.

If anyone wants to send me cash or help out with the motels along the way — let me know. I can use every dollar. I am terrified of fuel costs, but I keep reminding myself — I am not on a major freeway in California anymore, so, hopefully, fuel is not $6 a gallon.

Xnay Windsor Idea

Tuesday, July 19th, 2022

So I prayed a lot last night. I asked others to pray. I had so much uneasiness all night about this Windsor. Everytime I directed my mind there, tried to focus — no peace. Then I started asking my brain why. Metacog.

I kept going back to the conversation. “Did he say he had a ‘job’ or a ‘contact’ there?” My brain wouldn’t rest. Today, I messaged by boss.

He has a contact there. No guarantee of a job. I’d have as much luck there as anywhere else.

so … yeah.

Figuring things out. I should eat something today. I haven’t been hungry. Have I eaten anything? (Going to get food.)

And everything changes …

Monday, July 18th, 2022

My work let me know that they are … gonna help me move. But as of the end of next month, my job will no longer exists in this company. I currently have two choices.

  1. My current boss has connection with a company called Veyo in Windsor, Connecticut. He can get me a job there. I have never lived there. I think my Father is somewhere nearby that but honestly I am too panicked to clearly remember my Dad’s location. (Gronton … like less distance than Redding to Eureka.) Veyo also gives me the chance to actually have a job that transfers somewhere else. I wonder how close I am to Aunt Patty up there?

or option

2. Chris is in Alabama. I move there. No guarantee of a job. But Chris is there. I can move to the town where he works and work at … … sigh.

Chris is visiting this weekend. We were in debate about him doing that because he could help me with the cash to move. But my work offered to cover the cost of the U-Haul.

I need help making a decision. Call me. Write here.