Defenestrate

… and all through the house …

I wish I could say I could sleep. I cannot. I am wide awake. I miss Tigger. I shouldn’t whine. I should be thankful. I should feel happy.

Coulda. Shouda. Woudas.

…. But at least I am safe. Fireworks are going off all over Hawaii, so I keep waking up. No point in trying to sleep through them. I will wait until after midnight. Plus all the local parties. Loud drunks. Such fun to listen too …

…. I hope everyone is okay. If I do not call tomorrow, I am overwhelmed. Holidays … are … difficult … for me. I was smart and did a lot of online notifications yesterday.

But I do love my family. I just want to lay down and wake up in a year when there are answers to the pain inside of me.

There is an 18-year-old (almost 19) cat named “Whisper” here. No teeth. Vision going. We think she is mostly deaf. Great sense of smell. Incontinence issues as sometimes she cannot step into the litter box. Fun. Fun.

She has been waking up at 3 AM and then again at 5AM to demand food and her pee area cleaned up. I have been using waterproof pads and towels (towels are easy to bleach and wash). But she has been screaming (loudly as she is very deaf).

Until we rehome Brook (the younger cat next week), Whisper cannot go into the master bedroom. Well, she thinks that she owns the house and the people in it. It has been such a long … long couple of nights.

I should nap this afternoon. Cause my brain is not working today.

I feel better. I am very weak, but I feel 100% healthier.

We managed to find a home that will take the younger cat here — Brook. (The older cat is an alpha, extremely aggressive. We both do not think there is a way we can move into a one bedroom or studio without the older cat attacking the younger.) Brook’s new home will have two other very gentle cats. It seems to be a good fit. We just get her FEV tested next week.

Outside of that, I am good. Just living. I still go to church group during the week and church on Sunday. It feels good to be dealing with a lot of my spiritual issues. I have missed singing a ton. My voice is woefully out of practice by a few years. Funny how much you recall vocal warm-up drills when needed. (I remembered the ones from when I tried to sing once in a catholic choir before I was 10-years-old.) I am also still going to the beach to walk / swim three times a week. Lately it has been so cold — or I have not gotten fully well — that the water was too cold to swim in.

… Oh … the sea turtle. I have now seen him 8x out of 10. He swims around where I swim. He gets within five feet of me. He has intense eyes. Some people say he is feeding on the man-o-wars while others are saying that he is avoiding sharks in the deeper water. Whatever it is, he is rarely seen by the locals.